My style of writing is derived from my varied reading experience and way of thinking. My style may interest some readers and equally bore others. What I know for a fact is that I tell it like it is and straight to the point. Personal involvement in my write-ups give you my varied experience in life. I value every interaction with people no matter how irrelevant it may be considered; after all, 'It Is A Lesson'
Six (6)years of marriage in any man's life can not be considered as a joke. It is an experience worth sharing. For the first time on this platform, I am going to write under sub-headings. Youth Parade is a platform for growing a strong youth through quality education; this education includes sharing experiences such as mine. I will be writing on my experiences; summarized though under the following sub-headings: FOOD, FRIENDS,IN-LAWS, COMMUNICATION, QUARRELS/FIGHTS, SEX AND SECRETS.
SECRETS: For a young man and woman to agree to go into a life long relationship and to seal it with holy matrimony, means that both have seen some things with each other that others do not see. These things are suppose to bind them together and revelation of these secrets may cause separation. These secrets cut across lifestyles from crime, health, sex, money to religion. If you do not have a reason to keep maintaining your man or woman, think again. Why was Ataa Ayi's girlfriend/wife still with him at a time he was declared an outlaw? There was a secret! When you think you know everything why two people should not be together, they know one thing why they should be. That is the secret I am talking about.
SEX: The purposes for sex are many. Sex serves as a source of pleasure, procreation, punishment (this may sound controversial) and relief from stress. Abuse, disuse or misuse of sex for any or all of the above purposes may result in marital conflicts. It is proper to combine the various uses taking into account the various needs, moods and health status of both spouses. One thing that can easily result in conflict is the use of sex as a punishment: this may come in the form of denial or over provision. Optimum utilization settles it all. Achieving this level of optimality is a huge task and a recipe for promiscuity or adultery. Adultery is unacceptable in the eyes of God and the committed and the catalyst to commitment are both guilty. Be careful that your actions and/or inaction do not lead your spouse into temptation and sin.
QUARRELS/FIGHT: Which ever form they come, depending on the orientation and foundation of the couples are inevitable in every marriage. The management of such situations will tell whether the marriage will collapse or continue to exist. In some cases, marital secrets are revealed during quarrels, hence having no reason for the continuous maintenance of the marriage. Fights/quarrels are best handled when handled by the couples without third parties. I speak on authority on this matter.
COMMUNICATION: One other thing that brings misunderstanding into marriages is communication; lack of it or too much of it. 'I am going to school at Legon' should be enough for a spouse to understand that the spouse is gone to learn and interact with friends. 'I am coming' is too little for any spouse to understand. Add a little more. 'I am going to school, may meet Bertha my girl friend who doesn't mind forcing a kiss on my lips...' will also be too much. Information management is important to keep the home together. Great relationships have collapsed because information was not well managed and very bad ones continue to exist because spouses wishing to keep their marriages have cleverly managed information.
IN-LAWS: Another set of 'items' that require tact in their management are in-laws. From either side, in-laws can be irritating and/or great to be with. Do not lump all in-laws together and maltreat them. Study each and tactfully give each the needed treatment.
FRIENDS: Friends can make or unmake your marriage. Separate friends from your marriage. Group and regroup your friends. For each task, have those who fit as friends. Some friends talk too much. Some are also mere imposters. For me who has a lot of female friends, I always have a lot of explaining to do. Why? Because each day, a new friend is made. It should not be hidden.
FOOD: No matter the situation, do not forget to provide food for the family is rule 1. Rule 2; no matter the situation, do not refuse to eat from home.
With all the above, I have managed to pass through six years and still counting. I had some few 'bruises' and also issued some but the key is 'MANAGEMENT'
Due to some few technical problems, this piece was not edited so pardon the mistakes which are strictly mine.
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