DEAR JOHN

John! I am not referring to John the Baptist. In fact this John is not related to the numerous John(s) in the Bible. Forgive my choice of words; either mathematical inefficiency or Biblical shortfall. In Ghana, John also means one of two things. Growing up, people were discouraged from naming their children John the same way governments effort to promote batik tie and dye was thwarted with names like, 'adjoa yankee', 'wahyia wonua'; John was given to people who were considered unintelligent. This led to some known John(s) changing their names. We can only thank God only a few remained. The toughest, the fittest and the wisest. Today in Ghana, the second meaning of John is wisdom. At least from 31st December, 1981, no other name has won election apart from John. It started with John jerry rawlings, John kuffuor, John mills and now John mahama. Never mind what some other non John(s) are doing. There is even some rumour that 2016 will see another John competing with a current John. Interesting times ahead. There is an increase in the christening of children in recent times as John and I was nearly a victim of that irresistible temptation. The John I am greeting this evening is none of the above. Did I read on his facebook wall that he will be running for the Presidency soon? These political, public, non-political servants. Hmmmmm! He did not start; someone made the proposal which he also bought into. I wish him all the best. He has what it takes as a person to achieve this dream but he needs to get the people. It is not bad to dream BIG but you need to commit to such dreams to achieve it. John, I made you a promise, to write for you and to hear from you because you have indicated your thirst for my pieces of writing. I have not abandoned this passion. The demand is so high I am unable to satisfy you and others of your stature. What I am able to work at is to recount few events that happen among my mates for the fun of it. This is not the usual must read piece but a request to you. Always give me what you want to read and I will readily be at your service. My Dear Dr. Kanyiri, I have not inboxed this because I want the world to witness my request. I also want the world to be party to your response(s), fall and rise - arranged as should occur and the world should hold us responsible for our individual or mutual irresponsibility. What you have always held in high esteem is your Kindness. I will want you to exhibit the same Kindness everywhere. As I rest my case, I send you greetings from my wallet. I will be pleased if you remain silent on the last paragraph. How is the castle boy doing? Is he also receiving Ghc 4,000.00? Tell him the forms are out so I will be waiting. Eiiii! Did I say all that? Sorry, I should have sent that through your phone. Doctor! Good night.

MERRY CHRISTMAS (An Archived wish)

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you my dear friends, loved ones and opponents including my enemies. The birth of Christ marked the beginning of a new order in religion. It was the start of the 33 years of a pius man's life on earth.

Exactly when and where he was born will be meaningless to our discourse but what I remember is that he was not born at Trassacco valley, neither was he born at the whithouse nor the Flagstaff/Jubilee house. It fits into the local Akan adage, "obi nnim )brempong ashease3" (Nobody knows the beginning of a hero)

It is funny how some politicians consider the electorate as unintelligent and churn out falsehood that is meant to defame and stain contestants forever. I wonder why Osei Kwame Despite is not a Member of Parliament if the only means of going to parliament is money. Why Despite? Because he is popular, well established and generous.

I have no intension of lambasting my party the NDC but where I have to, I will to the benefit of mother Ghana. Fortunately, some issues are not matters for public consumption.

OF CASES, TALKS, GOSSIP AND BIRTHDAYS

Welcome my brothers and sisters from only seven days of self use, misuse, disuse and abuse. Welcome from seven days of inchoate recovery, discovery and 'uncovery'. Hmmmmmmmm! I guess some made a lot of everything from friends, laurels, money, strength, emotions and lovers. Some also made a lot of enemies, clothes, shoes, cash and I have seen some new phones, ipads and laptops. I do not intend to talk about you but forgive me if I end up sharing that secret. It is not even a secret because you told me, Martha and Henry at the phone shop the last time we met. I forgot to hint you that he has already told Nii, Abusua, Gloria and Valerie. Yea, he also told Tina, Shirley and Leslie; I am not saying he is a gossip ooo, he was only telling them how we met at that shop and the story you told us about yourself. I will not tell a lot of people, I will just put it on facebook. Friends, the seven days appeared short to all of us but was full of events. I will just summerise as Nana Oye did in the first six pages of her cv and proceed to expatiate in the rest of the pages as she did in her ....paged cv. I forgot about the stress of the exams after the prayers and settled at C41; Mensah Sabbah Main Hall. The fried yams smelt good so we opted for nothing but pork. The driver of the night: NII, was good (not better because 'good is better than better' Prof Frempong Boateng). We went to Adenta, Lapaz, Cicle then finally Osu but did not get pork so we opted for something else. That is not your business. I told you it is a summary. We got to Okponglo at about 2am only to work as NADMO. Hmmmm, two beautiful girls and a foolish, please do NOT complain about the word, trapped in a mangled taxi. Oh! May their souls rest in peace. Did you also see her dress? The stylish legs with the beads on it? You missed it, bad boy. Bow your head in shame and read Wenkyiwaa v Wireduaa. My room mates and I were on campus for two more days and saw a lot of things. Mmmmmmmm? But for the inability of the rat to pound fufu in its hole, it will enjoy it. Criss-crosses. Eiiii! You too? I met you and ..... see, look at you. I will not say it. Henry will tell them. He was with me when we saw you. Why did you reject my offer to take you out? Is it because my car was dirty that day? Ok, now I have washed it. Let's make else I will tell them where I met you. Why do people wish the downfall of others? I can see my mates reading Hodgson v the Republic, Nyaamah v Amponsah and, and, and many more and you are asking me to tell you stories? You are wicked. No wonder Jerry and Irene were saying it yesterday after lectures. Is it true Matina was angry because it was revealed that, she will give out toffees? Or there was some other reason? Mati! Don't get me wrong oo. Me and you de33333, I heard that guy is gossiping that me koraaa, I am seeing you behind close doors. Like e go beee papa. If so, pene pr3ko. Any way friends, enjoy the weekend. I am going to Akatsi to observe the eleven against zero match. Where is Lorlornyo? I have not seen Mr. Quaye too. Is it true that Nii has been denied access to his own room? Well, I just heard it. These porters are wicked oo. Why did I forget this? Level 300 and 400 men please leave that girl alone. Every guy, Reaches out, Intimacy is, Completely his, Agenda. She is also here to study, read cases, talk law, gossip and celebrate birthdays like my mama. Awake.

EPIPHANY OF EXAMS - UGLR/S1/L100-300

I do not know how this report made its way to your facebook wall or the Notice Board because it was just a 'lazy' student's account of what preparations 'serious' students make to justify their inclusion in a sacrilegious course they wish they had not started. As said in an Akan adage, they can now not stop because, they have started. During my first lecture, I had to go to the washroom to look myself up in the mirror because I felt I was at the wrong place. Frightened by appearances and ascent. Mc-de-wio was my Saviour. He reminded me of the entrance examination and how people had come with more experience, affluence and influence; he further spoke about that grueling encounter at the interview. "Masa, don't fear, you will survive" Then lectures continued, contributions were massive and books were displayed. Tutorials followed and gradually, some separation was automatically done. Lazy from the hardworking, women from girls and men from boys. Not all three were based on academics though. Truly and verily, people are different in all fields of endeavour. Raw talk, polished talk, respect, disrespect and... pardon my ignorance, what does one mean when he says someone has attitude? I hear people say so about others but, coming from a bush school, hmmm, I don't understand. Now, I heard about examination, later, there was a 7.30am time table, it was changed to 11.30am and 2.30pm. I was still a stranger in the Faculty; in fact I still am a stranger. I heard about some learning stratification and decided to use part of the time 'we' claim to be insufficient to find out and inform you. You are in this habit of calling people gossips, this is not gossiping. I am only a good samaritan, spending part of my precious time to inform you. You may not know; hmmmmmm, some are called, 24/7, some too tutorial rooms, some also, library and many more. How are you called? Outstanding learning class of L300, check out for your name; VAT, SHOUT, GROBA, YAY, DAY, AC, MAK, ANGLE, IRE etc. I looked through curiously and there was not a single male. But I have been seeing some male competing with these serious students, where are they? Ah! I see, they call them Faculty soldiers; KIA, WON, ESQ, EY, AKOLO, OMAN and MQ. Before my name is added to the list of students classified as not serious, let me read one case and will come back for the continuation. Happy New Year and Better Exams results.

EPIPHANY OF EXAMINATION - G