CONFIDENCE BUILDING; A COLLECTIVE RESPONSIBILITY

Youth is a circumstance you can't do anything about. The trick is to grow up without getting old. - Frank Lloyd Wright. I am putting this piece together without malice or disrespect to any elder or elders. I am trying to juxtapose what happened in a meeting on Friday with Frank's statement.

For the sake of this piece, let me use Kofi and Nartey. Description: Nartey is older than Kofi; Nartey is employed and Kofi is a student. In reference to a youth group, Kofi: I don't understand why a youth organizer should be above 30 years. Nartey: Youth is a state of mind. I see some link in these two statements. The link is rather opposite. Grow old and think youthful and be youth and think maturely.

Dictionary definition of youth is, a period when someone is young especially the period between being a child and being fully grown. (Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English). Question is when is one fully grown? It depends on where one finds himself. In a group where the average age is 60+ years, 40+ may be considered youth. In other jurisdictions, it is one's contribution that determines his status. It is unfortunate if one's age determines his state of mind without examination. He looks young so he is not intelligent; that is how some people think and talk.

What role does confidence play in the life of an individual? A lot; the success or failure of a person depends on his confidence. A confident person does not care if he is wrong sometimes. It is a learning period if you ask. That is not carelessness. Get your facts, be on top of issues and work with the facts. Where one backfires, it is proper to use it as a lesson than a suicide bomb. When you are confident, you can go places whether you are old or young; man or woman.

Confidence is mostly seen as arrogance in Ghana. Especially when one has age disadvantage, he is considered disrespectful. How you carry yourself, the kind of words you use and the combination all count. If it is misconstrued to be disrespect and arrogance, truth can not be hidden but if that is what you are; that is not confidence. Negativistic positivism is not right.

Who develops confidence in a person? Confidence building is a process from childhood. Home, school, friends, teachers and society. I changed Nana's school because at her first experience in recitation, she did not recite her Bible verse because there were many people. The teachers did not do enough and I heard of it late. In her new school, she was the first and loudest the first time because she was encouraged, assured and helped to practice. The next year, her new teacher did not add her because she gave her the option to be part or not to be and she chose not to be. I quizzed Nana and her complain was that, her teacher gave her friend a verse and a week later asked her if she wanted one. The 5 year old child felt disrespected and undermined so rejected the offer. I spoke to her to take it and she was perfect on the day. Her teacher is now her friend. This teacher would have destroyed the child's confidence to act in public. The school has created the environment but the teacher is sidelining some children. Why? Test the children and let them know why they are or are not part.

I always have an experience shared before and repeting or once for this instance. Takyi Mensah; my childhood mentor had a temple where we met every Wednesday to worship the creator. As children, there was a day for each to pray at the meetings and lead a song. My voice is bad as it was but he encouraged me and guided me to pray. My confidence at the time was high; no wonder I represented my school in quizes. I entered secondary school and hated singing completely. In front of the whole school, my Assistant Headmaster told me not to join the school at 'singing' meetings because I had no voice to sing. I loved the song he was teaching then. My school anthem "My Almamater, I praise and adore your name for all the good things thou hast done for us through the years gone by, Thou has been our fountain of knowledge and the foundation of the future and therefore we shall endear your dear oh ***** our dear, ***** 2x Hurray (the part I love still), Tole lege, ***** will win by hook or crook" What an anthem? I love the finishing bit. Win is important and it's a must.

My grand pa called me a talkative by saying; 'Kwame wo y3 nt3333n' (Kwame you talk too much). He admitted that I talked sense. There was this friend who was uncomfortable with the pitch of my voice. He will say; 'you are shouting' All these contribute to toning one's person. It makes you cautious and alert. It is good to be cautious and alert but remember too much of everything is bad. Loosen yourself, speak your mind and make a few mistakes.

Thanks be to God. There is a second chance to build your confidence where society did not help you do so early. Read books, ask questions, join clubs and societies, go out with friends, contribute in discussions and be ignored but don't ignore yourself. Life is good for the confident. Develop yours and help develop someone's confidence. Boost a friend's confidence, mentor someone, buy someone a book for confidence building is a collective responsibility in nation building.